I write this letter simply because... recently I read too much "the perks of being a wallflower", and then I think "Why not?". It has been long time since my last writing, maybe partly because Dota is kinda carried me away, and another reason is that since all the my favorite reader haven't paid attention to blogspot anymore, then what the reason I keep writing for? But then I realize that all of my entries written mostly because... I want to write something, not because I want somebody else to read what I want to show. Then... yeah my friend, just read it or not, it's up to you!
The first thing that I'm always think about is that... why it is so freakin hot recently? It's like the sun is in love, so it's getting hotter and hotter. Even so hot that it makes me so damn lazy, that I don't even want to go to the gym, or do anything outside my house... Well, kinda sucks isn't it. And it's not even the hottest period of the season yet! Well, I guess I'm gotta buy some battery and turn on the air conditioner finally...
The second thing... well maybe it's about the purpose of my life. This time I don't have to study much, even my job now I have some experience to do it easily (yeah now life is much easier with gg translate, it does the easy and some of diff part, then all I have to do is adjust, which I'm the best. Yeah,... adjusting and fixing stuffs...). Then I started to think what is it really about, I mean my life. Skimming through all my friend's facebook and realize that many of them have done great stuffs, like travel, being "something", having goods relationship, doing great prototypes or such things like that. And then I realize... well I have nothing to put in my facebook profile! No relationship, no achievement, no such thing as social activities or ever service learning stuffs... Sad, isn't it? Then I realize I don't know what I REALLY WANT TO DO! Shocked again... And this hot weather give me more headache than it should be. Yes, think about that young man, think about you "big plan" again. Shh, about that, even my friends also have big big plans, which I don't also. What a pathetic loser who think he's fine :(.
The third thing... it's kinda disappointed when my mom just told me the whole trip to Thailand is canceled. But then I heard something interesting: it could be a chance to travel through Europe, in the next September, cuz my uncle has German citizenship and can write an invitation for us to visit him. Then... I'm thinking about Spain, Italy, and even France. How possibly awesome is that one. Gotta save more money then! ... and that is still a near future plan with 60% of possibility. And now, a trip to Danang and Hoi An waiting, the thing I'm excited about now!!!!
And mention about this, I'm thinking of my dad again. Yeah, recently he kinda do some... ridiculous things. Not big deal, but these kind of actions and talking really annoy mom, and my aunt with her family temporarily staying at my house. Really I don't know what to say or do, since he never ever listen to someone else beside himself. Maybe finally we must have a really serious talk, when I would be enough "mature" for him, or when I can prove myself or having some kind of power, to talk to him like two man, not father and son (since this father and son shit really never work out for him). Yes, someday I will. At least my aunt and her family have to take this at least two more weeks until she can move to her house in Saigon. It's okay for me and my mom to stand him, but I'm really sorry for them about this, they are not suppose to, he is not part of her family for this...
Well I have a question for you. How can you tell someone that you miss her without telling that you miss her and then you cant do anything because you don't have a chance for even some small conversation since she's too busy for everything else, and I don't have the right to disturb just because I have too many free time now. I don't want to be childish, but this upset me. Sometimes I just want to talk, even just for 5 minutes, or even having 3 or 5 sentences. That's okay for me, happy enough for me, but still seem so far to come true...
I guess that enough sadness for you to listen my friend. Let's go to some good things. I've just receive the second salary payment, it's 5000 baht, seem a good one but don't know what to use with it yet :D. Another thing is that this summer we know how to have fun, even reading book or go to the internet game to enjoy dota 2 with my homies. That's fine for now, and life goes peacefully. That pleased me. My cooking ability has improved also, I'm sure will be a good husband in future :>. Imagine a husband with no interested in alcohol, know how to cook, can delight you with his poor guitar skill and sing like an injured penguin, gonna love you and your children with all his heart, value tradition and respect woman's right. Isn't it all woman looking for? But then I'm still alone bwahhaahaha... Weird, but if going deeper, it's not at all.
I think that's all I need to say and can say at this time. Maybe my approach is wrong, and if this time I failed again may be I will reconsider of changing the approach. But still, maybe need to wait 1 or 2 more year to see it's success or not. At the mean time, I just doing my best. Thank you for spending time reading all these silly stuffs of mine.
Love you,
Andy
Enough with the talk, let's put some good music I listened to recently:
Sungha Jung really do some good music recently:
